Caroline & 'Doom & Gloom'
By: Jana~
Chapter Two
*****~*****
--"On the first date?!" Annie asked loudly, shocked by Caroline's admission…
"Yeah, I know, it's not like me…" Caroline whined… "I just… I can't explain it. It's like, I was drawn to him somehow…"
"So, was it a one-night stand? Or are you seeing him again?"
"Definitely again. I really like him… and I think he likes me."
"Who'da thought…" Annie mused…
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know… I guess I just don’t see you two… together…"
"We're actually a lot alike… down deep."
"Must be way deep…" she muttered… "You two are as different as… as different as apples and…"
"Oranges?"
"More like dump-trucks! You're as different as apples and dump-trucks, Caroline!"
Caroline rolled her eyes and left the drafting table…
"Look, he's cute and all… and so you slept with him… that's ok. You needed that… bad…"
"Thanks." Caroline murmured with a sarcastic tone…
"It's just, why turn this into more than what it was?"
Caroline squinted at her friend… "And what was it?"
"Just a date! Just sex!"
Caroline shook her head… "It was more. I felt more."
"Did he?"
"I-- I think he did." She was starting to have doubts under Annie's scrutiny…
"Well, ok, what did he say… ya'know… after?"
---------------**Flashback**---------------
--There was several minutes of awkward silence, the only sound in the room being the soft whine of sirens outside in the distance…
"I've never before either…" Richard's voice was shaky as he struggled to catch his breath… "On a first date I mean…"
Caroline smiled… "Good to know I'm not the only lewd one here."
"I would hardly call you lewd." He sat up and faced her, his breath sufficiently caught… "What happened between us… that kind of stuff doesn’t just happen… at least not to me…"
"Almost like love at first sight…" she added softly… she could've sworn his face lit up…
"Exactly. It's like… Sincere Amore…"
---------------~~Flash Forward~~---------------
--"Sincere Amore?!" Annie blurted out, interrupting Caroline's story… "He actually said that?!"
"Yeah. It means--"
"Caroline, I'm Italian… I know what it means. Roughly translated it means 'sincere love', or 'true love'…" she laughed… "He's either an idiot or he has the soul of a poet…"
"He's no idiot. Why do you always belittle who I date?"
"Cause you date dorks!"
"I dated Del…" Caroline replied smugly…
"Ooo… burn. Well, Del wasn't right for you. You guys were too different. You take sex too seriously."
"Sex should be taken seriously."
"It doesn’t have to be so serious though, Caroline. It can just be about two people… in the moment. The minute you have sex you're out looking at china patterns!"
"Oh, stop exaggerating! It's just a natural progression. I would like to one day get married… and by the time I have sex with a guy, I usually know that's a possibility for our future."
"So, you see wedding bells in yours and Richard's future? After only one date?"
"I don’t know… I don’t even know how he feels about marriage…"
"Or kids?"
"Or kids. God, what if he doesn’t want kids?"
"See?! This is what I'm talking about! You have had ONE DATE with the guy and already you're worried about whether or not he wants to have kids!" She dropped her voice to a softer tone… "Look, Caroline, here's what'cha do… this guy was good in bed, right?"
"Incredible. Absolutely incredible."
"Really? How incred--" she dropped the question and shook her head, clearing her thoughts before continuing… "Ok, so, here's the deal… you sleep with the guy for a few weeks, or months, then you MOVE ON! Don't try to turn him into your husband, just bop the guy a few dozen times, then move on to the next guy!"
"Lovely."
"Seriously! Trust me on this Caroline, it's easier that way. No attachments… no heart on the line for Mr. Not-So-Right to squash…"
"That might work for some people… that might work for you, but that's not what I want. I don’t want meaningless sex… I want a meaningful relationship! I want someone that I can grow old with, and enjoy grandchildren with… great sex is just a perk."
"Ok, so, cut to the chase… how great was he really?"
"Best I have ever been with."
"Including Del?"
"Del isn't even in the running…"
"Really?!" Annie seemed to go into thought… "And Richard is--?"
"Taken!" Caroline interrupted… "Hands off!"
She smiled… "Fine."
*****~*****
--"You seem quiet…" Richard mentioned as he and Caroline ate dinner at the fancy Petries restaurant… "Is something wrong?"
"No… not really…" Caroline replied, sighing and setting her fork down, leaving her salad untouched…
When she hesitated, and picked at her dinner roll, he knew she had something on her mind… "Caroline?"
"I guess I'm… well… worried."
"About?"
"Us…" she replied in a whisper, her eyes focused on the tablecloth…
He sighed as he set his fork down and reached for her hand… "I was wondering when this would come up…"
"I'm sorry, I know I can be annoying… and Annie keeps telling me to just stop taking stuff so seriously… but I guess when it comes to certain things… like relationships… it's just in me to take it seriously."
"And I understand that…"
"It's just… we got so close so quickly… but…"
"But?"
"But… where is this relationship going?"
"I don’t know how to answer that question."
"Answer it truthfully."
"I see a future with you… but to commit to anything more… just yet…"
"I'm not looking to get married tomorrow… or even next week… but I would like to think that this is more than casual dating and sex." When he squeezed her hand lovingly she looked up, being met by his smiling eyes… "Is that an accurate assumption?"
"This is far from casual… and it's far from just sex. I love you Caroline. And I know we've only been dating for 2 months now, but I feel like I've known you all my life. I'm not ready for marriage now… but can I see marriage for us in the future?" he smiled wider… "The answer is yes."
Caroline sighed with relief, her smile just a little brighter and more confident…
"Does that put your mind at ease a little?" he asked thoughtfully…
"Yes. A lot. I'm sorry for ruining dinner…"
"You didn’t." He scooted his chair closer to hers, then kissed her lips softly… "Let's order dessert to go."
She nodded… "Sounds like a good plan."
*****~*****
--They were peacefully snuggled together, secure in each other's arms, the act of making love having drained their energy. Richard drew imaginary designs on Caroline's arm lovingly, unaware that her mind was preoccupied… unaware that the conversation that was about to happen would change everything…
"Richard?" she broke the silence with a soft voice…
"Hmmm?" he replied as he kissed her shoulder…
"What do you think of kids?"
Richard, without conscious thought, held his breath, only breathing again when his body reminded him of his need for oxygen… "Kids?"
"Yeah. Kids. At some point, I would like to be a mom."
There was a long pause before he replied… "I see…"
"What-- What are your thoughts on that?"
"Well…" he sat up in bed… "To be honest… I never saw me as a father."
"Never?" she asked with slight shock, also sitting up in bed, pulling the sheets around her naked body… "You may never want to have children?"
"I wouldn't want to inflict the heartache of this world on a small person…"
She blinked with confusion… "What?"
"The world is in chaos, Caroline… it's over-populated… why put a baby… a child through that?"
"There's bad in the world, sure… but do you really see it as so horrible?"
"In a way… yeah."
She climbed out of bed, half numb… "This could be a problem…" she grabbed her clothes off the floor and proceeded to get dressed… "I want children, Richard. I mean, not tomorrow… not weeks after marriage even… but, eventually I DO want kids…"
With a heavy sigh he slid out of bed and grabbed for his clothes… "There's no question in your mind?"
"None. Is there any question in yours?"
"None."
They both finished dressing, then stood and stared at one-another…
"So, what happens now?"
She shook her head slightly… "I can't just be in a relationship knowing the outcome-- Knowing it will end badly…"
"But, it doesn’t have to, Caroline."
"I want kids and you don’t. The longer we're together, the harder it will be. On both of us…"
"Are you saying you want to end this? Now?"
She nodded, a tear falling down her cheek…
"Caroline, I don’t want to end this…"
"I don't either… but I don’t see a choice. I have to be a mom. It's important to me…"
"There has to be a way of working this out."
"I don’t see a way…" She sighed, trying futilely to hold back her tears… "I'm sorry."
He hung his head low for a moment, forcing his emotions deep… "I am too." He looked up and met her tear-filled eyes… "If you change your mind…"
She just shook her head, and he nodded…
"I will always love you." he whispered…
She nodded… "Bye."
"Bye."
He walked out of the room and she could hear his footsteps falling upon the stairs and out the door… it was then that she collapsed, sobbing into her blankets that had been dropped to the floor…
TO BE CONTINUED
Thanks for reading!