Caroline & 'Doom & Gloom'
By: Jana~
Chapter Four
*****~*****
--"Wait. What? How-- How is that possible?" Richard was beyond shocked by Caroline's statement… it was the last thing he expected to hear…
Caroline looked at him with an odd expression… "How?"
"I know HOW, Caroline… but… I mean… how?"
"I'm not sure…" she uttered, her heart beating up in her throat…
"You said you were on the pill!"
"I am! They don’t always work…" she sighed as she rubbed her temples, feeling the start of a large headache… "I guess it just didn’t work. It's the only explanation."
"Is it?"
She looked up abruptly… "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I can think of at least one other scenario." His tone seemed to be challenging her…
"And that is?" she asked with a similar tone…
"That you got pregnant on purpose. So you could have a child! Maybe trap me into marrying you!"
Caroline was seething… "What?! I can't believe-- I would NEVER--" she stammered, anger taking away her ability to form a coherent sentence… "GET OUT!"
Richard turned and marched out the door, slamming it behind him.
She stared at the door for a moment, her anger turning into sadness and depression as she plopped down on the couch, her tears flowing as she sobbed…
"What have I done?" she whispered to herself…
*****~*****
--"You're PREGNANT?!" Annie shouted… "When did this happen? Aren't you on the pill?"
"Yes. It's not 100% effective though…"
"Obviously!" she shook her head and approached Caroline, putting her arm around her… "How far along are you?"
"I don't know… six or eight weeks, I'm guessing."
"And Richard didn’t handle it well. Big surprise. Men suck."
"He thinks I did it to trap him."
"What?!" Annie asked loudly, appalled…
Caroline nodded… "I told him to get out."
"Good for you!"
"Yeah…"
"Caroline, if he's gonna be a great big asshole about it, you don’t need him around!"
"I want him around Annie. I don’t know, maybe subconsciously I did something to make this happen."
"Like what?"
"Maybe I missed a pill. Or- or took it at the wrong time."
"But even if you DID, you didn’t do it on purpose!"
"No. Not on purpose."
"Then, he needs to get off his high horse, get that two-by-four outta his ass, and stop being such a prick!"
"He was just upset."
"Caroline! Why are you defending him?!"
"I can just see his side… is all."
"And his side is?"
"He didn't want kids, Annie, and now he's gonna be a father. We'd had that big talk about kids. We broke up cause I wanted them and he didn’t… now, all of the sudden, I'm pregnant. It's gotta seem ironic to him. It IS ironic."
"Ironic or not…" Annie marched towards the front door…
"Where are you going?"
"To kick some snooty ass!"
"Annie! Don't! Wait!"
But Annie didn’t stop, and Caroline didn't have the energy to chase her down the stairs.
She thought about calling Richard and warning him that Annie was on the way, but she did not want to talk to him. Not so soon after his accusations.
******~******
--Annie pushed her way in as soon as Richard opened the door…
"What are you doing?" Richard asked angrily…
"That's my question to you! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
"Annie, leave."
"No!"
"Then I'll leave!" Richard headed for the door, but she blocked him…
"Not till you hear me out!"
Richard sighed in irritation and turned his back…
"You're a snooty asshole! You know that?!"
He briefly turned to glare at her, then turned away again…
"Before she even knew she was pregnant, I told her she oughta just 'ooops' and get pregnant… you know what she said to me?! She said she could NEVER trick you like that! She didn’t get pregnant to trap you!"
He didn’t reply to her shouting and lecturing, and it just upset her further…
"You're just gonna stand there with your 'better-than-thou' attitude and ignore me, ain'tcha?!"
He still didn’t respond…
"I sure hope to God this baby doesn't have ANY of your attributes!"
"Are you quite through?" he asked with detached coldness…
She growled in frustration and flung open the door… "I don’t know WHAT Caroline ever saw in you!"
She slammed the door as she left, and Richard sunk to his knees…
"That makes two of us…" he muttered to himself as he leaned forward, his forehead touching the cool, hard, dirty floor… "That makes two of us."
*****~*****
--Annie did her best to console a sobbing Caroline, feeling guilty for being the messenger that brought the bad news that kicked off this latest crying jag…
"So, that's it…" she choked out… "He doesn’t care."
"Caroline, sweetie, men suck. Best to just let him go and try to forget about him. You won't be alone in this. You'll have me and Del… and your folks…"
She groaned loudly… "I can hear mom's lecture now… 'Men won't buy the cow if you give them the milk for free'…"
Annie shook her head… "Wisconsin analogies…"
"I really thought he was the one, Annie…"
"I know hun… I know."
*****~*****
--Richard didn't want to talk to anyone, especially Del. He liked Del well enough, but he was a bit of a neanderthal in Richard's eyes. And his constant need to dispense relationship advice was laughable. Del was a playboy in every sense of the word… he wouldn't know what true love was if it came up and smacked him on the face.
When he saw Del through the peephole, he decided to remain quiet in the hopes that he would assume he wasn't home and leave… but no such luck…
"Richard! I know you're in there!" Del shouted… "Open up!"
"Shut up before I knife you!" Richard heard a neighbor yell, and decided it would be best to get Del inside and out of harm's way…
Richard opened the door abruptly and yanked him inside… "You have a death wish, don't you?"
"Do you?! Annie wants to kill you!"
"I don’t care about Annie." Richard replied coolly…
"Do you care about Caroline?"
"Of course I do."
"You have a funny way of showing it!"
"Del, you are my employer, not my shrink. Stop acting like it."
"Hey, look, I'm on your side here!"
Richard seemed confused by that comment… "What?"
"If Annie did that to me, I sure wouldn’t be happy! I mean, how hard is it to pop a pill each night?! In this day-and-age, to get pregnant! C'mon! It had to be on purpose, right?!"
"And you're the expert on birth control?"
"Hey, I've had my share of close calls!"
"Big surprise…"
"Don’t get me wrong, I love Caroline… but, seems pretty obvious that she did this on purpose, right? You have every right to be angry! I would be!"
"I'm not angry… I was… shocked…" Richard admitted hesitantly…
"Well, better to cut her lose now, right? I mean, if she's gonna be all manipulative and stuff… better you know now."
"Whatever. Look, Del, I have work to do… would you mind leaving now."
"Sure. Ok." Del headed for the door with a smile on his face… "Bye."
Richard was deep in thought, barely hearing him… "Huh? Yeah… bye."
He locked the door after Del left, then plopped down on his bed. He knew what Del was trying to do… it was blatantly obvious… but, what Del didn’t realize was, Richard didn't really feel that way at all. He didn’t think Caroline got pregnant on purpose. He didn’t think she was trying to trap him. He just saw it as his opportunity to drive her away… before she dumped him. Before she woke up and realized what a loser he was and smashed his heart into a million pieces.
He sighed as he removed his glasses and stared at the blurry ceiling…
"She's better off this way…"
*****~*****
--Five days had passed before Caroline had gathered enough courage to pay Richard a visit. She stood outside his door for several minutes, rethinking her decision to see him at least a dozen times before finally knocking softly. She could hear rustling on the other side of the door, then, after a moment, she heard the locks and chain unlatch…
--Art was Richard's only solace… he was so busy pouring his heart and soul onto the canvass he almost didn’t hear the knock at the door. He thought briefly of ignoring it, but in the end, curiosity got the better of him. He set his paintbrush down and headed for the door, peering out through the peephole… Caroline was the last person he expected it to be.
Slowly, he unlatched the locks and chain and opened the door, his gaze meeting her sad eyes…
"I'm sorry to bother you…" she stated softly… "But I think we need to talk."
Talking could lead to yearnings… he couldn’t allow that to happen. He needed to distance himself from her if he was ever going to get over her…
"I-- I don’t know…" he stuttered…
Suddenly, there was a loud crash followed by voices raised in anger… his neighbors were fighting again…
Richard grasped Caroline's arm and pulled her into his apartment, locking all the locks once she was inside…
"It's not safe for you to be here…" he informed, a glimmer of concern in his voice… "This neighborhood is dangerous for you and the baby."
His words… his tone of voice… they didn’t go unnoticed. These were not the actions of a man who didn’t care…
"I'm sorry…" she apologized… "I tried to call, but you wouldn’t pick up the phone. And I figured you wouldn’t return my call if I left a message…"
She looked absolutely stunning, and all she was wearing was a casual white button-up shirt and faded blue jeans… "What do you want?" he asked, trying to depict disinterest…
"I just-- I need to know how you want to deal with this."
"Deal with what?"
She sighed… "Look, I know you don’t want children and all, and if you want nothing to do with this child, then I will respect that. But, I need to know… do you want your name on the birth certificate? Do you want him or her to have your last name? Do you want me to tell him or her anything about you?"
He felt his heart lurch… "It's your decision."
"No. It's yours."
Richard appeared flustered… "I don’t know! Can I have some time to think about it?! Last I heard pregnancy lasts like 9 months. It's not like you're giving birth tomorrow!"
"I figured if I let too much time go by, then, maybe the conversation would be more awkward…"
"More awkward than this? I doubt that's possible." He snipped sarcastically…
"What do you want from me Richard? I've apologized. I've released you of any responsibility. What else do you want from me?"
His response, she was NOT expecting. He gathered her into his arms and kissed her passionately. His hands wound into her auburn curls as he deepened the kiss… she could do nothing but respond eagerly.
Finally, she broke away… "What--? Why--?"
"I'm sorry…" he apologized… "I had to. I can't-- I just can't do this…"
She was beyond confused… "Do what?"
"Push you away. I love you. God, I love you." He threw his hands up in the air and turned his back on her as he struggled to regain control… "I love you…" he added in a whisper…
"I don’t understand."
"I was afraid…"
"Of what? Being a father?"
He nodded, then shook his head… "Of you."
"Of me?"
"You have the ability to destroy me, Caroline. Don’t you realize?"
"You hold the same power over me, Richard. And I never would. And I never thought you would…"
The pain in her voice was unmistakable… "Caroline, I am so, so sorry. Annie was right… I AM a prick."
She chuckled slightly… "She called you that?"
"Among other things…"
They shared a smile, then, he approached her…
"I love you, and it scared me. And then you talked about kids… and I felt this need to run away. God, I am so screwed up… how could I ever be a father?!" he rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses… "Then, when I figured that in time, maybe, with your help, I could be a father… but then you said you were pregnant…"
He sighed… "That means I'm gonna be a dad now! Not at some unknown point in the semi-distant future, but NOW. I freaked. I guess it just seemed more logical to me at that moment to get away from you and fatherhood as quickly as possible. So that I didn't end up wrecking your little baby… and probably you. And probably myself even moreso than I already am."
He wiped the tear from her cheek as he continued… "I figured I'd do something stupid, and you'd hate me… and leave me… and destroy my heart…"
"So, you decided to beat me to it. Push me away before I could push you away."
"Exactly."
Caroline stroked his face gently, and he closed his eyes at her touch, his breath quickening…
"Tell me the truth, Richard. Tell me how you feel. About me. About the baby. About everything."
"I love you. So much, it hurts. I can feel it all the way into the center of my soul."
"And the baby?"
"I'm scared to death of the baby. I do NOT know how to be a father, Caroline. What if I screw it up like my dad screwed me up?"
"You won't."
"How do you know?"
She smiled… "Cause I won't let you."
"Have I ruined everything?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly…
"Almost. You almost did. But, no, you didn't. And you know why?" she asked rhetorically… "Cause you were honest with me just now. And that's all I want from you. Honesty and love. I'm not expecting you to be dad of the year. I'm not expecting you to drop your emotional baggage from the past without help. Just… love me. And be by my side… we'll do the rest together."
"I love you so much…" he whispered in her ear as he held her tight…
"I love you too." She whispered back, rubbing against him seductively…
He shuddered, then pulled back and looked at her with questioning eyes… she nodded with a slight smile…
"Won’t it hurt the baby?"
"No…" she shook her head… "It won't."
His smile seemed almost pained as he reached for her shirt, slowly undoing each tiny button… never losing eye contact. He pushed the shirt from her shoulders and ran his hands up her bare arms, relishing her reaction as her eyes drifted shut.
With his lips dancing along her shoulder and neck, he reached behind her and unhooked her bra, releasing her breasts from their lacy confines. When his hands moved to cup them, she moaned softly and turned, her back to his front, leaning against him for support.
He enjoyed the view with her in that position. He kissed her shoulder as he fondled her, her sweet scent as intoxicating as her sounds of pleasure. He licked and kissed his way down her back till he reached the waistline of her jeans, then he reached around and unbuttoned and unzipped the denim annoyance.
He slid the pants down her legs, his hands and fingertips making soft contact with her bare skin as he traveled lower… he heard his whispered name on her lips. He moaned at the sound, and stood abruptly, removing his shirt and pants quickly before returning his lips to hers.
The kiss was beyond incredible… frantic, tender, loving, needy… everything they were feeling being released in the intimate show of affection. She reached into his boxers and rubbed her hand against his arousal, he instinctively pushed against her.
He groaned, then pulled back, removing his boxers before leading her to the bed. He helped her to lay back, almost as if she were delicate and may break, then parted her legs. He slid up between them, teasing her inner thighs with his fingertips and lips before tonguing her.
"God… Richard…" she breathed, overwhelmed…
He smiled as he continued. He knew what she liked, and he was going to please her completely before he would even consider allowing himself release. She deserved that much and more… after what he put her through.
She moved against his mouth, repeating his name over and over in a soft chant before finally exploding with release. He slowed, but didn’t stop… and just as she started to quiet, he entered her.
She gasped and whimpered as he moved deliberately, causing another orgasm to swell within her. She gasped his name and he slowed, allowing her to adjust. When he sensed she was close, he sped up again… within seconds she released a loud groan and collapsed.
He continued to move slowly inside her as he kissed her dry lips, licking them to wet them. She licked back, then shakily reached up and grasped at his shoulders…
"I love you…" he whispered, then gathered her into his arms.
His body was begging for release, but he continued to move slowly, not wanting to exhaust his love further. He knew he would reach his reward whether his thrusts were fast or slow… so, he considered her needs first… something he vowed to do forever, from that moment on.
When he knew he was close, his pace picked up slightly… then, suddenly, he stopped as he pulled back to look at her…
"What?" she asked, seeing the concern in his eyes…
"I can… you know… finish? Even with you being pregnant?"
She smiled… "Yes." She wrapped her legs around his back… "Finish." she whispered…
He smiled, then kissed her lips tenderly as he began to move again. She moved with him, which nearly drove him mad with need. He growled softly in response, his thrusts coming faster and faster till he tensed and moaned…
Totally spent, he collapsed beside her…
"That was amazing." She breathed as she snuggled up against him… he hummed in response. "That's the first time we've made love here…" she added… "You're bed sucks."
He chuckled as he held her tighter… "Thanks."
"How long have you had this mattress?"
"Futon." He corrected… "Are you hungry?"
"Can I see your painting?" she interrupted, her gaze moving to the tarp-covered easel…
"Well, it's not finished yet. Are you sure you're not hungry?" he quickly changed the subject… "There's a deli on the corner--"
"No, I'm fine." She kissed his chest and smiled… "So, this a futon, huh?"
"How lovely that word sounds coming from you…" he teased, then repeated the word dramatically, almost as if singing it… "Foo-tawn."
"Don't tease…" she laughed, then sat up, looking around… "Where are my shoes?"
"Going somewhere?" he asked as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her…
"Only if you come with me."
"To where?"
"My place."
"For the night?" he asked as he kissed her shoulder…
"I was thinking more like forever."
"I'll get my toothbrush."
THE END
Thanks for reading!