The One With The Bathroom Door

By: Jana~

 

 

Chapter One

 

*****~*****

--Chandler cursed under his breath nearly all the way home. He was halfway there when he realized… Suzy had taken his wallet and keys along with his pants. He would have to call and cancel all his credit cards, reissue his driver's license… not that he really ever used it. But worst of all, he had no way of getting into his apartment.

He knew Monica and Rachel had a copy of the key, but he also knew enlisting their help would come at a price. They would snicker for days… weeks even. He should've thought to ask Joey for his copy. At least he wasn’t still wearing that ridiculous hot pink thong.

Ross had been nice enough to lend him his boxers, so at least he wasn’t wandering down Grove Ave. in woman's panties… or worse… naked. And at least the bathroom door he'd carried out of the restaurant covered one side of him.

'Never again!' he promised himself… 'Never again will I do anything embarrassing for the sake of sex.'

He thought about that for a moment… "Eh, who am I kidding?"

--He stood in the hallway between his apartment and Monica and Rachel's, dreading what he knew he had to do. Reluctantly, he knocked on the girls' door, holding the doorknob so that whoever was about to answer it couldn’t open the door…

--Monica dropped her magazine on the coffee table and stood to get the door. She grabbed the knob, then turned and pulled, but her effort was met with resistance…

"Monica?" the familiar voice on the other side of the door asked…

"Yeah." she replied inquisitively… "Chandler?"

"Uh… yeah…"

"Chandler, what are you doing?"

He cleared his throat… "Before you open the door, I sorta need to tell you something…"

She wondered what kind of game he was playing… "Ok…"

"I'm pretty much… naked… out here."

"What?!" she asked with a laugh, looking through the peephole… "So you are!" She could only really see his upper half…

Chandler realized she was sneaking a peek and moved the bathroom stall door to the front of him… "Monica, I need your help."

"I'm not qualified to help you. You need a licensed shrink." She laughed…

"Mon!" he scolded… "Be serious!"

"Ok, ok. Sorry. What happened?"

"Well, ya'know, as much as I would love to share my most embarrassing moment with you, I would love to do so with pants on. Could'ja let me borrow your copy of our key? She took my wallet and keys too!"

"She? Too?"

"Monica! Please… the key?"

"Ok! Sheeesh!" She smiled as she fished their key out of the dish, then tried again to open the door… "Chandler, let go of the door."

He opened it just enough to stick his hand in and take the key. She scoffed as she slapped the key into his hand…

"Thanks." He was never so happy to see a key before. "Don't open your door till I'm in, ok?"

Monica didn’t say anything…

"Mon? Promise me."

"Alright." She finally agreed… "Half of New York can see you in your underwear and I can't…" she mumbled… "But, whatever… "

She didn’t make any promises about peeking through the peephole though, and she watched him as he struggled with the cumbersome bathroom door and the key in the lock…

"Ok…" he called out as he opened the door and sprinted in.

Monica walked across the hall and into the boys' apartment, more than just a little interested in the details of why Chandler was half-naked. And who was 'she'?

"So, what happened?" she called out to his room…

"I'll be out in a sec…" he called back…

She could hear him rustling around… "Kay."

He walked out, fully dressed in comfortable sweats and a t-shirt… "That girl, Suzy?" Monica nodded. "She set me up!"

"What do you mean?"

"Back in elementary school, I lifted her skirt and the auditorium full of kids laughed at her. Nick-named her 'Suzy Underpants'. Apparently, she never got over that."

She shook her head… "Chandler, Chandler…"

"Hey, It was right after my parents split! I was lashing out! I was 10! She's an adult!"

Monica nodded in agreement… "Ok, so, what did she do?"

"She told me…" he hesitated, shifting uncomfortable… "She said it would be sexy if I wore her underpants to dinner." He glared at Monica when she laughed. "She seduced me! Got me into the bathroom, told me to strip down to nothing but the panties. She grabbed my clothes and left!"

Monica chuckled, trying not to, but failing… "What kind of panties?"

He sighed… "Hot pink thong…" he mumbled softly…

"What?"

"Hot pink thong." he repeated louder… "Go ahead… laugh."

"I'm sorry! But, you know if this had happened to Joey or Ross you'd be so making fun of them!" She snickered… "If they find out about this--"

"Too late. They know." He plopped down on the couch… "It was Ross who lent me his boxers."

"That was nice of him."

"Yeah, well, I owe him $50."

She joined him on the couch and rubbed his arm… "I'm sorry your evening sucked."

"Thanks. So, how was your date with VanDam?"

"You don't wanna know…"

"I don’t?"

"Let's just say, you weren't the only one who got 'set up' tonight."

"Uh-oh." He stood and went to the fridge… "What happened?" he asked as he grabbed them each a beer before rejoining her on the couch…

"Rachel told Jean-Claude that I was dying to go out with him cause I wanted to have a three-some with him and Drew Barrymore!"

Beer almost came out his nose when he laughed, and he choked and coughed several times before finding his voice… "She did what?!"

"That's right! Then we got into it cause she wouldn’t apologize!"

"Cat fight?"

"Oh yeah. You and Joey woulda been drooling."

"Man! I would've liked to have seen that!"

She smirked… "I bet!"

"So, everything ok now?"

"Yeah. We made up."

A sly grin crossed his lips… "Wish I could've seen that too!"

"Not like that!"

"Hey, a man can dream."

"Yeah, well, dream on."

He laughed… "So, everybody's dates pretty much sucked tonight. Ross' monkey canceled, your 'Muscles from Brussels' turned out to be a pervert, and my date needs major psychiatric treatment."

Monica shook her head slightly, as if in disbelief… "What is wrong with us?"

"You don’t want to open that can of worms, believe me."

"I'm beginning to think that I will never find love."

"Yeah…" he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her temple… "I know what you mean. But, for whatever it's worth… you'll always have me."

"You'll always have me too…" she assured him, patting his leg in a friendly way…

Her touch affected him in a way he didn’t expect, and his mind began to wander. His over-active imagination conjured up images of the two of them together… kissing… locked in a passionate embrace…

"Chandler?"

Her voice broke through his thoughts… "Huh?"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah…" he lied, pulling back to look at her face. "Sorry…" he smiled sheepishly… "My mind wandered for a moment…"

"You ok? You seem… upset."

"No, no… I'm fine."

"You sure? You don’t seem fine…"

"Well, I did just walk ten blocks to my home half naked… wearing just Ross' boxer shorts…"

She snickered… "Sorry. I can go if you want…"

"I would rather have the company."

"Then, I will stay." She smiled, snuggling into his side… "I just don’t know why it has to be so hard, ya'know?"

"Yeah." he agreed absently…

"Lots of people fall in love and get married and have kids every day. Why not me?"

"Cause you're not SuperWoman?" He sat up and put his hands on his hips dramatically… "It's SuperMon! Able to fall in love, get married, and have children, all in a single day!"

She slapped him playfully… "Sarcastic pain in the ass…"

"Thanks…" he took the statement as a compliment, pulling her to him again as they cuddled up on the couch…

She sighed lightly in frustration… "Guess I'm just destined to be miserable…"

"You don’t have to be…" he offered…

"Oh, I know. Be happy that I have my health and my friends…"

"Yeah, something like that."

"I just don’t understand…" she sat up and looked at her friend for the answer… "Am I such a bad catch?"

"No!" he replied emphatically… "You are an excellent catch!"

"Then why can't I 'catch' me a boyfriend?"

He wanted to have an answer for her, but he didn’t have one. Her sad eyes searched his, and he acted without thinking… he just moved on instinct.

Within seconds she found his lips on hers. She had no idea why, and the brief thought that fluttered through her mind was to pull away and ask him just that. That thought quickly left however, and she found herself returning the kiss eagerly, 'why' no longer mattering.

His hands traveled over her body, causing her to shiver… the consequences of such an action far from his mind. When his lips left hers and moved to her neck, her tiny, unsure voice cracked in his ear…

"Chandler, what are we doing?"

"Something we probably shouldn’t be…" was his reply, his lips still tantalizing her skin…

"We shouldn’t…" she repeated, her objection weak at best. Truth was, she didn’t want to stop… what he was doing was fantastic, and it had been so long… too long…

"Then, maybe we should stop…" he suggested, sucking lightly on the taught skin between her neck and shoulder…

"Maybe…" she whimpered…

"Mon…" he breathed… "You'll have to have the willpower to push me away…" he told her with a strained voice… "I don’t think I can."

Her logical-thinking mind and her body's desires started to battle it out for control. She almost didn't want to stop him, but then a thought shot into her brain, and it gave her the strength to say 'no'… she didn’t want to lose him as a friend. If they had a one-night-stand, she most certainly would…

"Chandler…" she pushed gently at him… "We can't…"

His breathing was heavy as he pulled away… "I know…" he whispered, looking down out of guilt… "I'm sorry."

"Don’t be…" she smiled, touching his arm… "I just think it's best if we don’t cross that 'friend-zone' line, ya'know?"

He nodded… "I know."

"So…" she stood… "Maybe I should go."

"Yeah, ok."

She gave him a tiny peck on the cheek, then walked out the door… leaving Chandler aroused and angry with himself…

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

Thanks for reading!