The One With The Bathroom Door
By: Jana~
Chapter Six
*****~*****
--"We should walk in separately…" Monica suggested, grabbing Chandler's arm before he could enter the coffeehouse… "It'll throw them off the trail."
"Is one of our friends Sherlock Holmes?"
"No." she sighed, irritated… "But they'll be nosey about why I left so abruptly this morning…" she explained… "And where we've been all day…"
He smiled, remembering the day fondly, but shook the look from his face after seeing her serious and annoyed expression… "Ok. Who goes first?"
"Me." she answered without pause, walking towards the door… "Give it five minutes." she instructed…
"Fine."
--Monica entered Central Perk to find three of her friends on the couch, Joey at the nearby table and chair…
"Hey guys." She announced her presence, sitting on the chair to the right of the sofa, across the coffee table from Joey…
"Hey!" Ross exclaimed his greeting… "Where have you been? What happened this morning?"
"Yeah…" Rachel jumped in… "Why did you leave so suddenly?"
Monica was about to answer when Phoebe interrupted…
"Is it cause you and Chandler had a fight?" Phoebe asked… "Did you find him and make up?"
Just then, an idea hit Monica's brain. A fight. Her and Chandler could pretend to fight. That would buy them time… then they wouldn’t have to announce their relationship to their well meaning, but interfering friends…
"Yes…" Monica lied… "We had a fight. I found him…" she lied further… "But we just ended up fighting more. So…"
Just then Chandler walked in… "Hello children…"
Monica jumped from her chair… "You have some nerve showing up here!" she barked, attempting to wink without anyone but Chandler seeing… "You knew I was coming here!"
Chandler looked absolutely baffled… "Huh?"
"I told you earlier, when we were fighting… at your office… remember?" Monica emphasized words she hoped would help Chandler catch on… it worked…
"Oh, right. Well, so? I mean, it's a public place, right? And they're my friends too, right?" Chandler mocked fought with her…
"Well…" she snapped… "If you're gonna be here, then I'm leaving!" Monica headed for the door…
"Great! Cause so am I! Cause you just ruined my appetite!" he snapped back, then headed out the door behind Monica…
The friends just looked at each other for a moment… in shock…
"What the hell was that?" Rachel was the first to speak up…
"Got me." Phoebe replied…
Joey squinted in concentration… "Excuse me…" he mumbled, then headed for the door…
"Joey? What are you doing?" Ross asked, but Joey didn’t reply…
"Something isn't right here…" Phoebe surmised…
"And whatever it is that 'isn't right', I'll bet Joey is involved somehow…" Rachel added…
"I bet we get Joey to crack much faster than Monica or Chandler…" Ross offered… "I say we start with Joey in an attempt to get answers…"
Rachel and Phoebe agreed.
*****
--"What was all that about?" Chandler asked Monica as they entered her apartment…
"They asked if we were fighting, I thought it would be a good way to throw them off the track."
"For a brief moment, I thought I had entered the Twilight Zone!"
She smiled… "Sorry. I didn’t have much time to think about it…"
"S'ok…" he accepted her apology, holding her and nuzzling into her hair… "So, how long are we gonna be 'fighting'?"
"I don’t know yet. I just-- I think we need time to figure this out…" she gestured between them… "Before we involve them. Ok?"
"Ok."
Just then the door flew open, and Joey pointed at them as he entered, his eyes wide…
"I knew it!" Joey exclaimed… "You're not fighting! You're together!"
Chandler and Monica had jumped away from each other as fast as they humanly could, but not before Joey had seen them in each other's arms…
"Joey…" Chandler scolded, running to close the door his friend left open…
"Joey…" Monica repeated, but more pleading than scolding… "We're just not ready to tell anyone yet." she explained… "And when Phoebe suggested we had been fighting…" she trailed off…
"You can't tell them Joey. Promise." Chandler added…
"What?" Joey gasped… "You want me to keep this a secret?" When Chandler and Monica both nodded, he shook his head… "I can't keep this a secret! I suck at keeping secrets!"
"Well…" Chandler replied… "You're gonna have to get good at it… fast!"
Joey began to fidget nervously, uncomfortably… "But this is too huge!"
"Joey…" Chandler scolded… "You owe me. You know you owe me."
Monica tried being a little sweeter about it… "Please Joey? Please?" Her hands were clasped together, looking almost how one might while praying, her expression pleading…
"Oh, alright." Joey agreed reluctantly… "But for how long?"
"We don’t know yet…" Chandler replied…
"Till Chandler and I decide if we have anything… worthwhile." Monica added…
*****
--Chandler poked his head in the door, scanning quickly for Monica. Upon spotting her, he smiled… "Rachel here?" he asked in a whisper…
Monica shook her head… "Nope. She left for work."
He entered Monica's apartment, quickly moving to gather his girlfriend in his arms… "Last night was wonderful." he purred as he kissed her neck…
"I know…" she agreed, wrapping her arms around him… "It's hard to believe it's only been a week!"
"It's hard to believe Joey hasn't spilled the beans yet."
"That too."
They worked their way to Monica's room…
"What do you think everyone will say when they find out?" Monica asked as Chandler continued his affections…
"Uh-ya-uhn…" he mumbled, his answer of 'I don’t know' distorted by the fact that his lips were attached to Monica's skin…
"Ross will be pissed…" she added, and Chandler pulled back…
"Monica, please. I am so not in the mood to talk about your brother."
She smiled sheepishly… "Sorry."
He smiled before kissing her, and upon reaching the door to her room, they pushed their way in and slammed it shut behind them.
*****
--"I'm telling you, he's either been gone, busy, or not alone…" Phoebe informed Rachel and Ross as they sat in Central Perk…
"Well, then we're gonna have to concoct a way to get Joey alone… then confront him on what he knows." Rachel replied…
"Did you happen to catch how Chandler was acting yesterday?" Ross asked, interjecting into the conversation…
"Uh, yeah!" Phoebe exclaimed… "Like a little kid who got caught with his hand in the granola jar!"
Rachel and Ross looked at Phoebe with confused expressions…
"The granola jar, Phoebe?" Rachel asked…
"Don’t you mean the cookie jar?" Ross added…
Phoebe scoffed… "Uh, no. I don’t think so. When I was little, whenever I would try to sneak some granola from the granola jar, if my mom would catch me she'd say: 'Looks like someone got caught with her hand in the granola jar!'…"
Ross and Rachel shared looks before moving on…
"So, question is, how do we get Joey alone so we can grill him?" Rachel asked, changing the subject…
"I think I can do it…" Phoebe offered… "We often get together, just the two of us for lunch or dinner. Just some 'us' time to talk and stuff. I'll tell him it's time for a 'just us' day. He'll say yes… I'm sure of it."
"Ok. Ok. Do that!" Rachel replied excitedly… "Now, how do we break him down?"
Phoebe smiled mischievously… "Leave that to me too!"
*****
--"Sure Phoebe, that sounds great." Joey agreed easily to the 'just us' day… "But, only if you promise not to ask about Chandler and Monica. Cause, I already told you guys, I don’t know anything about anything."
"Fine." Phoebe agreed… "Let's meet at Petrellies. You know, over by the Natural History Museum? Where Ross works?"
Joey eyed her warily for a moment, then smiled, oblivious… "Sure. Ok."
Phoebe smiled, pleased with herself… the plan was working…
*****
--"Let's go to the museum before we go in." Phoebe suggested as her and Joey stood outside the restaurant, ready to go in…
"What? Why?" he asked… "Isn't it, like, closed now?" He checked his watch…
"Yeah, but Ross always works late…" she replied… "And I think he has coupons for this place. It's an incentive for all the museum employees to eat there." She grabbed his arm… "C'mon. You wanna save money, don’t you?"
He nodded… "Sure. Ok." He followed without question.
--Ross let Phoebe and Joey in and led them back to his office…
"Yeah, I think I have a few coupons in my desk…" Ross lied…
The threesome got to Ross' office, and immediately Joey saw that Rachel was there…
"Rach? What are you doing here?" Joey asked curiously…
Phoebe closed the door behind her and he spun around at the sound…
"Because we need to talk to you…" Rachel answered Joey's question, and he spun back around to her…
"About what?" he asked, concerned…
"About Chandler and Monica…" Phoebe replied…
"We know you know something." Ross added…
"I told you…" Joey moved for the door, but Phoebe stood in his way… "I can't tell you guys." he added, scowling at Phoebe…
"We have ways of making you talk." Phoebe smirked, raising an eyebrow impishly…
Joey just scoffed… "Doubtful. And you know Pheebs, I could so get by you right now if I wanted to."
"Joey, c'mon, we're your friends too!" Rachel interjected… "Just come on…" she gestured to a desk chair… "Sit down. Talk to us." She smiled almost seductively… "We can make it worth your while…"
Joey raised an eyebrow to that offer… "How so?"
Phoebe led him to the chair and he sat down, looking at both girls, intrigued…
"If you tell us what we want to know…" Rachel started…
"We will both flash you." Phoebe added, pulling her already low-cut dress down to show a lot more cleavage and a little more breast skin…
"Whoa-ah…" Joey's mouth fell open in shock, then he gestured to both Rachel and Phoebe… "Both of you?"
Rachel nodded, then proceeded to expose a bit more cleavage as well… "But you gotta tell us what we want to know first."
Joey scowled… "I told them I wouldn't!" he complained… "They'll be upset!"
Phoebe showed a little more skin, and Joey groaned…
"Alright! Alright!" Joey dropped his head in resignation… "They're not fighting, they're together. You know, together."
"I knew it!" Rachel exclaimed… "I just knew it!"
Ross, who had been quiet during the whole interrogation, sighed… "Why didn’t they want us to know?"
"They said they just wanted to see if they were, like, 'solid', ya'know?"
Ross just rolled his eyes and went to his desk…
Joey turned his attention back to the girls… "So…" his voice was low and suggestive… "What about my… reward?"
Phoebe smiled and looked at Rachel before they both turned to Joey… "You're right. You held up your end of the deal…"
"We'll hold up ours…" Rachel added…
Phoebe and Rachel shared looks, and Ross turned away, knowing what was coming…
The girls flashed him quickly, simultaneously, then covered back up…
"Hey!" Joey exclaimed… "I couldn’t barely see anything! You went too quickly! And at the same time!"
"Hey…" Rachel defended… "We said we would both flash you! Both as in 'together', 'flash' as in quickly."
Phoebe just nodded with a smile and Joey frowned…
"I was tricked! I was gypped!" he whined, heading for the door… "Women are mean!"
Phoebe ran after him as he dashed out into the museum…
TO BE CONTINUED
Thanks for reading!