The One Where Chandler is Missing

By: Jana~

 

 

Chapter Two

 

*****

--"Ross! Thank God! I can't get this damn tie straight! Will you help m--?" Chandler made a strangled yelp as Ross' hands wrapped around his neck…

"I'll kill you!" Ross yelled, but Chandler managed to break his best man's hands away from his throat…

"Ross! I know, ok!? I'm scum!" Ross nodded… "Beyond scum!" Chandler added, Ross nodded again…

"You don’t deserve my sister!"

"You think I don’t know that?!"

"You put her through hell!"

Chandler hung his head… "God, she must hate me…"

"Oddly enough…" Ross replied… "She doesn’t."

"Do you think she'll still marry me?"

"I wouldn’t if I were her!" Ross snapped… "But, yes. I think she still wants to marry you."

Chandler sighed with relief… "Then help me with my tie, will you?!"

"Fine." Ross approached to grab hold of the tie, but Chandler backed away slightly…

"Just tie the tie…" he requested… "Don’t choke me till after the wedding, k?"

"I'll do a lot worse if you EVER cause her this kind of pain again!"

"Fair enough."

"We have to hurry though…" Ross added as he fixed Chandler's tie… "They're on their way to tell everyone the wedding's been cancelled."

The second the tie was 'straight enough', Chandler and Ross ran from groom's room towards the chapel.

*****

--Everyone knew something wasn't right when the maid of honor, the bridesmaid, and the bride all walked down the aisle to the front of the chapel. Murmuring could be heard as Monica hugged Joey, who was standing in his spot as officiator…

"We're here for you, Mon…" he whispered…

"Thanks…" she whispered back…

"Should we wait for Ross?" Rachel asked as Monica broke away from Joey…

She shrugged… "I don’t see why. I just wanna get this over with."

Rachel rubbed her back in support… "Alright…" She faced the sea of questioning eyes and cleared her throat… "We have an announcement to make…" she told the guests… "At this time it has become necessary to--"

"Wait!" Ross yelled from the back of the chapel, then ran up to the front and whispered something in Rachel's ear…

She gasped… "Oh my God!"

"What's going on?" Monica asked, concerned…

Ross whispered in her ear… "Chandler showed up! He's waiting outside for your answer."

Monica immediately started to cry… "What's the question?"

Ross smiled… "Will you marry him?"

A sob escaped her as she struggled to find her voice… "Yes."

Ross hugged her, then turned to Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey… "Ok, just like we rehearsed it. Take your places."

Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe walked back up the aisle…

"Ross?" Joey whispered… "Where'd he go?"

"I don’t know…" Ross replied… "We'll find out later when we kick his ass. Will you help me?"

Joey nodded enthusiastically… "Hell, yeah!"

Ross gave him a pseudo hug, then turned to the guests who were completely confused and muttering amongst themselves…

"We had a slight problem…" Ross addressed them… "But everything is fine now, and we'll be starting momentarily."

With that he walked back up the aisle, leaving Joey alone at the altar. He smiled awkwardly as all eyes were on him, then shrugged.

*****

--The ceremony began, and Chandler walked down the aisle with his parents on either side of him…

"What happened?" His mom asked him in a whisper…

"I did something stupid," he replied… "But I came to my senses in the knick of time."

They got to the front of the aisle, and his mom and dad both kissed his cheek…

"We love you, son." His dad told him proudly…

"I love you both." Chandler replied, then took his place in front of Joey…

"Dude…" Joey whispered, gaining Chandler's attention… "Where'd you go?"

Chandler shook his head… "Later Joe."

Joey rolled his eyes… "Fine."

Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe walked down the aisle, arms linked…

"I can't believe he came back…" Rachel whispered to the other two… "Did he say where he went? Why he left?"

"Not really…" Ross replied… "He'll tell us later…" then added sotto… "After I kick his ass."

Phoebe and Rachel rolled their eyes, then they were at the front. Ross took his place beside Chandler, and Rachel and Phoebe smiled at Chandler before taking their places as well.

The music changed and Monica appeared with her mother and father at the back of the chapel… everyone stood as she began to descend the aisle…

Chandler felt his heart leap at the sight of her… she was beautiful. Stunning. He was conflicted between feelings of utter love for her and hatred of himself for what he had put her through…

Her parents each kissed her cheek, then they sat front row as she took her place next to Chandler. He managed a small smile, tears pricking the back of his eyes…

She smiled back with the slightest of nods to let him know that everything was alright… then Joey began…

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I have known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I cannot imagine two people more perfect for each other…" He smiled at both of them… "Monica and Chandler have decided to use their own vows…" he informed the guests, then turned to Monica… "Monica?"

Monica turned to Rachel, who handed her the piece of paper that contained her vows.

She cleared her throat… "Chandler, for so long I-- I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul-mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now… here we are… with our future before us… and I only want to spend it with you. My prince, my soul-mate, my friend."

Joey smiled and nodded his approval, then turned to Chandler… "Chandler?"

Ross handed him the piece of paper with his vows on it…

Chandler looked at it for a moment, then looked at Monica. He hesitated before speaking…

"Monica," he waved the paper… "I wrote these vows, and I had such a hard time figuring out what to say. Now, looking over them, the words don’t seem like nearly enough." He put the paper in his pocket and continued…

"I put you through so much today… I know that, and I will apologize to you every day for the rest of my life if you want me to. I don’t know what happened, one minute I was excited about marrying the most wonderful woman in the world, and the next… I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I did something stupid, and I'm just so glad that you saw it for the mistake it was and agreed to marry me… cause, I love you. Any surprises that come our way… it's ok, cause I will always love you."

He took a step towards her… "You wanna know if I'm sure?" he asked rhetorically, then cupped her face in his hand, kissing her tenderly as tears rolled down her cheeks…

Joey cleared his throat to get their attention… "Guys? We're not at that part yet."

Chandler broke the kiss and turned to look at him, as did Monica…

"Sorry…" Chandler apologized to Joey, retaking his place.

"Ok…" Joey said sternly… "Now…" he put on his best 'distinguished officiator face' and continued… "Do you, Chandler, take Monica to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold in sickness and in health until death parts you?"

He nodded, his eyes never leaving Monica… "I do."

"Mon, do you take Chandler to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold in sickness and in health, till death parts you?"

"I do."

Joey smiled, excited and thrilled for the couple… "Yeah you do!" He turned and smiled at Ross who mouthed the word:

"Rings?"

Joey's smile turned to a scowl… "I know that!"

Ross handed Monica's ring to Chandler and Rachel handed Chandler's ring to Monica…

"With the saying of vows and the giving of rings, a bond is formed that will forever encircle your hearts…" he leaned towards Chandler, looking for approval… "Pretty good, huh?"

Chandler nodded, then gestured to keep going…

"Right. Ok then. Chandler, Monica, go ahead and exchange rings…"

After they did, they turned and faced Joey, hand-in-hand…

"By the powers invested in me by the State of New York, and the internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Joey declared, then smiled at Chandler… "Now you may kiss her."

Chandler smiled in return and kissed his bride to the sound of applause.

"I love you…" he whispered… "Do you really forgive me?"

She smiled and stroked his cheek… "I married you didn’t I?"

"And thank you for that." he added, then kissed her again…

"Aren't they so cute?" Joey asked Ross quietly as the newly married couple headed up the aisle…

"Yeah…" Ross agreed, his voice soft… "But I'm still kicking his ass."

Joey nodded as he smiled, his tone also soft… "Yeah. Me too."

*****

--"When I said I was gonna kick your ass, I meant it!" Ross exclaimed as he and Joey confronted Chandler, minutes before he was to leave the reception with Monica…

"Can't this wait guys?" Chandler asked, looking at his watch… "Monica and I have to get going…"

"No." Ross informed… "It can't." he pointed at the chair again for the second time in less then five minutes… "Now, bend over so I can kick your ass!"

"See, now, when you said you were gonna kick my ass, I just assumed you meant that you were gonna, like, I don’t know, 'beat me up'?"

"I'm not responsible for your assumptions." Ross snipped… "Now bend over so I can kick your ass, or I'll--"

"You'll what?" Chandler scoffed…

"Do worse!" Ross replied… "With Joey's help!"

Joey stood next to Ross in support of his comment…

Chandler rolled his eyes… "Fine."

He leaned against the chair, his butt somewhat in the air, and Ross and Joey took turns literally kicking him in the ass.

After several kicks, Monica happened to walk in, and all three of them looked to her and froze in place…

"I don’t wanna know, do I?" she asked the three men of the strange scene…

"I'm kicking his ass…" Ross informed…

"I see…" Monica approached Chandler and took his hand… "We're running late, you can finish this weird 'rite of passage' or whatever this is after we get back from our honeymoon."

Chandler followed Monica… "Yes dear…" He looked back and gloated with a smirk as he left the room…

Joey and Ross looked at each other…

"We'll finish kicking his ass when he gets back…" Joey suggested…

Ross shrugged… "Yeah, but it won't be the same…"

"Why not?"

"He'll have had time to heal."

 

THE END

 

Thanks for reading!